My mom is old. I mean really old. She was over recently and playing with Simon. For those of you who don't know our family well, we are weird. My mom drools over babies, literally. We don't know why, but she does. THat in and of itself is a little upsetting. But, here she is sitting across from me at the didning room table and talking to Simon, wiping spittle from either cheek from time to time. As she leans in she passes gas, while talking in a high pitch, spitty voice. So of course I crack up laughing and she is telling me to shut up in her baby voice. But she doesn't learn and leans in again to play with Simon and again passes gas, wiping mouth, laughing and cursing me.
I am crying/laughing and she starts to lean again!!!! I take Simons little baby chin and "talk" for him, begging his grandmother to stay the Hell away from him before she craps herself.
I love my mom.
Madonna of the streets
This is my favorite Mary, well besides the one at Pam Demato's house.
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6 comments:
Sounds like your Mother and Gabriel"The Farting Truck Driver"Donaldson,would make a great pair.Only if Vaudville were still alive,they could take it on the road!
I stand corrected. You're not going to hell for failure to make reparation for the desecration of the Eucharist. You're going to hell for publicly humiliating your mother.
SINNER!
Does your mom not read your blog?? I will tell you what I remind Cari all the time--the 4th commandment!!!
ARe you all kidding me? that is priceless stuff. and no she doesnt read my blog... did you? I stated she is OLD... really OLD.... she does not know how to use a mouse. And my siblings need to know all these great stories so we have something for all the grandkids to remember her by when she is gone.
I am not mean... I am funny... not at all like Cari. Who is going to Hell... just because.
Good commandment to remember Judy. I keep reminding Ken & Cari of it, and they say they know about it. But, everybody slips up. Thank God, He is merciful.
Being the favorite child of this OLD woman, I must say Kim is not breaking any commandments by passing on the TRUTH. It will set us free along with some spit and gas. She reminds me of Larry the Cable Guy's grandmother. Anyone who spends an afternoon in her house knows about her walking farts and how she "ooooo"'s over them. She can't just let it go or say excuse me, she must say, "ooooooo" retpeatedly, as many times as she takes a step or otherwise farts. If that weren't enough, she can out-burp any, and I repeat any, man. Have you heard Seth? While he is well endowed with belching gas, our mother can put him to shame, only she doesn't laugh like Seth does. In her wisdom, "Getting old ain't for sissys."
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